Westboro Church Has Bieber Fever!

The Devil's Haircut!

Justin Bieber, today you are a man.  Not everyone gets singled out by Westboro Church.  Well, just *nerds, soldiers, synagogues, flags (no, that is NOT a typo, it's really flags), people who believe that God loves everybody, kids who go to High School in Milwaukee, and Lady Gaga (and come to think of it what's that sound outside my door?).  But what kind of beef could America's Most Hilarious Hate Group possibly come up with for Justin Bieber?

No beef at all, actually!  Just really intense, twisted, sublimated longing for dreamy eyes and schwoopy hair.  That's right, Westboro's whole demonstration at his Sprint Center concert on Wednesday in Kansas City was the mouthbreathing-fundy-protester equivalent of "do you like me circle yes or no."
 According to Politics Daily:

 The church group says that Bieber "has a platform given to him by God to speak to this world; he has a duty to teach obedience by his actions and words. He refuses to do that because he knows his concert halls would be empty! So, he teaches you to sin and rebel against God's commandments."

So, basically, Westboro Church is that boy who pulls your hair because he really, really likes you but doesn't have the emotional maturity to say he actually likes girls, so he turns those feelings into aggression.  "See, fame is vile and evil and ruining the world, but not yours Justin--yours is from God! He wants you to say you like us and then everybody else will be our friend, too!"  Where Lady Gaga is a "proud whore" who eats souls and is also a bad singer (really? that too?), the problem with the 'Biebs is he refuses to rename himself Jesus and be their messiah-BFF.

Either this place is run by thirteen-year-old girls, or no one one Earth is immune to Bieber Fever.


*none of these links will take you anywhere near the actual Westboro Church website; those asshats get no free clicks from me.