A Daily Beast article is currently going viral wherein ladies are orgasming all over the place at yoga classes. There's even a word for it--yogasm--so it has to be thing, right? It's "on the rise!" Like cancer! Be afraid: orgasms! Who can tell when one will strike next! Well, I kind of think I can. I definitely believe that these women are telling the truth, but then again there's this:
“I was in lotus pose, focusing on breathing and lifting the muscles of my pelvic floor,” she said. She wasn’t prepared for what happened after her instructor pressed his body against her back and synchronized his breath with hers, lifting her ribs as she inhaled, and pushing down on her thighs as she exhaled. “I was tingling all over!” she gushed...The teacher is a famous name in New York City’s yoga circuit. Toned and tattooed, Rojas gives classes that are often packed with women hoping to get some hands-on instruction."That could have been written by Nora Roberts. And did they mention he has a Venezuelan accent? Girl, you have a huge crush on your yoga teacher that you let get way out of hand!
Look, yoga gets touchy--in a not sexy way!--all the time. And sometimes there's an emphasis on root chakra opening, and it's all "mula bandha, etc." And maybe if you have a male teacher and he's really good looking, you're super-excited when he adjusts your triangle because it's the most action you've had in a long time? And maybe you do poses slightly wrong on purpose but not the same one so he doesn't think you're stupid or get a complex about being a bad teacher? Or maybe there's another one you weren't attracted to at all but it's been soooo loooooong and one day you're just like whaaaaaaat? O, the vowels of it all!
I guess I can see that happening. Maybe.
But the thing is, all of my years of clinical research on the subject of Happy Times--my hours and hours AND HOURS of study--make me wonder what kind of lady just accidentally has an orgasm? I mean, it was always my understanding that if you wanted a train to take you somewhere you had to buy a ticket and then physically Put Your Self On The Train. You don't "graduate" with a "degree" until you complete the "coursework." Right? Who are these ladies who are all "whoopsa-daisy!"? And there are no tales of this happening to guys, who anecdotal evidence suggests might be more susceptible to such a thing. Which brings me back to diagnosis: crush.
Which basically is a long way to get around to saying two things: first, to everyone who's followed my yoga misadventures thus far and may have seen that article, please let's continue to look each other in the eye because NO WAY. Also if you're scared to try yoga now because you might accidentally go to town...no. Second, those ladies that just have surprise orgasms all over the place need to call me. We need to talk about yOOOOOga...
Image: graur codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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