Day 11: How To Pick Up Hot (as in attractive) Girls Who Do Yoga

Day 11 of The 30-Day Yoga Challenge

OHM here often?

1. Go to a yoga class.

Sike! There are no more steps. Did you click through hoping it would be really complicated and there would be lots of steps? It's really that simple: are you a reasonably-attractive, straight, under-40 cisman who is not a total creeper and does yoga? Because congratulations, you are the Yoga Holy Grail. Boom, done.

I mean, I know I'm doing tons of heteronormative and age-based assuming here, but I'm juuuuust taking a guess that if it's me you chose to explain this to you, you're probably looking for the under-40 straight cislady. Because a trout can only tell you how to catch a trout and not a salmon amirite? Also why am I a fish. Moving on!

From my wide experience at gym/non-gym, heated/non-heated, granola/no-granola yoga-doing (with and without chanting!), I can pretty much guarantee you that you will be the only one of your kind wherever you go. And therefore the most attractive You in the room. Possibly the most attractive You all the girls have ever seen in a yoga class! Which obviously makes it a dumb place to go if you're looking for guys. So the girls aren't looking, which actually works to your advantage, because they won't have engaged The Perv Shield that all girls have for occasions when they know they're in a situation that can breed unwanted attention (bars, singles mixers, every street everywhere on earth).

But there You are! The species so rarely seen in their yoga world! You already have 100 bonus awesome points just for existing in this world. And yeah, some people will assume you're only there to meet girls--but whatever, even Adam Levine will cop to that. If any of them give you the stink eye, they're probably not single. But make it look like you actually came to do yoga, and be at least a little competent at it, and you can have your pick of any lady you desire. Seriously: I have only twice encountered an under-50 male in any yoga class in my entire life who was not the teacher. One of them was straight (and also gorgeous holy moly I don't know how I did a single balance pose the whole time). I have literally begged people at work to have deadlines for the first time in their lives so I can get out of there earlier and always be in this class on the off chance that he ever shows up again.

And why am I so certain that it's really that simple? Another of those secrets no one tells you about yoga: the feeling at the end, in shavasana. when you're all just lying there, with all your charkas wide open--really, all of them, every single one (all. of. them. Do I need to draw you a picture? allofthem)
--let's just say when it's time for the final Namaste, they'll be more than eager to chat with you, ifyouknowwhatimsayin.



Further misadventures at the 30-Day Yoga Challenge Page.

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net