Today I did something I do maybe twice a year, tops. I left work to go to the gym on my lunch break. Actually, you could take out the "to the gym" part and be just as correct. It's true, I'm a shameful lunch-at-one's-desk-eater. For some reason I always felt like telling us we have an hour where we can stop working and do whatever we want is a trap they set so they can see who's not busy enough to merit their position being eliminated. But not today! Today I encountered a rare moment where I had not a stitch to do, and also the person who writes up the orders was leaving at the same time so there would be nothing more until he came back anyway. Goodbye desk! Goodbye studio! Wave to the Western Culture of Workaholism on your way out! Oh no, did it see us leaving?
Did you know being in the sunlight in the middle of a beautiful 84-degree day is awesome? Of course you did, you're not a crazyperson.
Class was good too! Very sweaty, although I feel like I could be MORE sweaty? Isn't hot yoga supposed to just wring out every ounce of water in your body? Am I not getting the full benefit? Either way, I finally had the experience of being the (I think) most advanced person in the room. And half moon showed up! Remember half moon? Everybody else used blocks and I got to be all, "oh, no I can do it without the block!" And she was like, riiiiiiiiiight and I was all um, YEAH so you can take this block and--no this is not kickboxing.
Which is something I'm wondering about. I've gotten used to the satisfaction of being absolutely pummeled by my workout, while club music pounds in my ears. I like the grrrr-toughness of kickboxing, and pulling out the last bit of stamina to go blasting over a hill on the elliptical induces euphoria. Basically, when it comes to workin' it out, I like it rough. Will I get that same feeling from yoga? Do I need it? And if I do need it will it surface somewhere else? I always joke that punching and kicking things in Powerstrike keeps me from punching and kicking things in real life. Not that I would ever assault a person, but what if my calm is only found at the center of chaos?
All things I pondered in shavasana! Along with a manic run-through of every tiny little action I'd be taking in five minutes to get back to work. I had cut it a liiiiiittle close with the timing, so if class ran too late and if all the showers were taken and and and there was a small chance I would not be back in time for something very important that would go on with or without me. So I lay there, coiled like a spring, unable to turn my brain off, chattering away inside my head and waiting for the moment I could dash out the door and not lose precious seconds.
Everything went fine, of course, but maybe it's not the best idea to go to yoga during the day? Even if I wasn't up against a very hard deadline, I feel like I would still be begging every second to go by faster, stressed that someone would decide I had been gone too long, that I'm slacking, that I'm not invested. Or maybe I need the trial by fire: learn to turn it all off and go deep in a stressful situation. If I can do that, just think of the amazing mental gymnastics I could accomplish, on and off the mat.
Further misadventures at the 30 Day Yoga Challenge page.
Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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